Where do you go to School?

One of the hardest things about having an invisible illness is the fact that people don't really know just how sick you are. Every time I meet someone, see a new doctor, have a new nurse in the ER or catch up with old friends they always ask the question I dread most.."Where do you go to school?". When I tell them I don't attend yet, I get the question, "Where do you work?". It's like an instant punch right in the face. BOOM. Yes I still live at home with my parents, no I can't have a job or attend school, no I can't always drive, thank you for reminding me. Reminding me of all my failures, and the things I should be able to do. I promise I'm not lazy and I promise that I'm not doing all of this because I want to. My dream is in fact to go to nursing school and be a nurse the best pediatric oncology nurse ever. But you see, in order to do that, I have to attend 4 years of college, and at this moment it's a pretty good week if I make it through without being in the ER. I can't remember a day that I haven't been in pain and almost every day a headache, so strong it makes me vomit, wakes me up from a deep sleep. I'd love to be working as a unit coordinator at Children's right now, but with having brain surgery every couple months and unexpected hospital admissions around every corner, I'm not considered a good candidate when it comes to a job.

Even though I can never take my own advice, if you're facing similar problems just remember these things:

• You are YOU, and that means you don't have to follow every one else. Your dreams may take longer than others to achieve, but don't give up, because eventually you WILL get there. It will make that moment even more special, knowing the fight you put up to get there.
• Who cares what people have to say. They don't face the challenges you do. They don't know the pain you live with every day or how hard it is just to make it through the things you need to get done. Forget them, your situation is different from theirs and they have no right to judge.
• It may seem like nothing will ever change, you may feel hopeless and down because you aren't where you want to be right now. You are where you are supposed to be right now though. Take one day at a time. 
• Focus on your strengths. You can handle a spinal tap like a pro and not even flinch? Bravo. You're able to support others when they're feeling down? Kudos to you. You have the highest pain tolerance a doctor has ever seen? Pat on the back. Basically, you're hardcore.

It's easier said than done, trust me, I know. But you can't let your situation get you too down. After all, when one small knot triggers the world, take a deep breath...it's simply tangled.